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Two Simple Habits for Talking to Strangers

Be curious out loud, and say what you actually think. Answering "it's okay" to everything kills the conversation, because nobody can tell what you mean.

June 16, 20263 min read

When you are learning English you want an environment to practise in. Someone tells you to go and find foreigners to talk to. Or you are planning to study or settle abroad, so talking to local people is not optional.

Does starting a conversation with a stranger sound hard? Mostly we make it hard for ourselves.

There are two simple things that genuinely work.

One: be curious out loud

Someone has an unusual bike, ask about it. An interesting phone, ask. The weather is strangely hot, just say so. You do not need a dutiful "how are you".

Treat it like putting a video on: ask, then listen. You do not need to be working out your next sentence.

That is where people get stuck. Half-listening while drafting your next line means you hear nothing, and the line you drafted usually no longer fits.

Two: say what you actually think

If you liked it, say so. If you did not, say that. Answering "it's okay" to everything leaves the other person with no idea what you mean, and the conversation dies right there.

A neutral answer gives them nowhere to go. A real opinion, however small, always opens the next question.

The point

Connecting with local people does not require you to reinvent yourself or become someone else. It requires being willing to speak first.